True Story…
Last week, we’re sittin in the car in Calca, in front of the Mini-Market ready to pull away, when this random Peruano dude comes walkin down the sidewalk on his phone…and he kicks the front car tire! Not with any amount of force or concern, and he didn’t skip a beat in his step or his phone call. He didn’t even make the effort to look at us, but he took his foot to that car with intention….like he was kicking a can out of his way that happened to be in his path of travel.
Hysterical.
And I’m sure he sensed that we’re nice people, albeit crazy gringos, who actually find that stuff amusing… or he’d have risked himself an old fashioned punk rock beating, right there, in the town flippin’ square de Calca, mid day, no holds barred.
And that’s exactly how it happened.
Yesterday morning, I’m in the house alone and I’m uploading some pictures when I hear a distinct crunching and swallowing in the kitchen. I quickly realized that KitKat was next to me sleeping, so I gently set the computer down and stood up when this random, brown, fox looking dog…trots right past me, casually,…out the front door, all the while licking his lips. I step out behind him, but he’s gone like the wind, just as if I had imagined the whole thing.
The nerve.
I’ve never had a dog pull an eat n’ dash on me before. He coulda stuck around for a head pat, a thank you or even a decent meal. Ya never know with me….I enjoy feeding the hungry.
And that’s exactly how it happened.
Last month, I’m in Cuzco stocking up on a few bottles of wine and liquor. In my broken Spanish, I joke around with the grandmother running the place that I need the booze for medicinal purposes, y’know, “porque, yo tengo un novio”. She laughs hysterically with her Hindi pal of equal years as they both move in close on me to reveal that they have what I really need!! She recommended that I purchase some cocaine from her because it’s the best I’ll ever have and will take care of all of my problems with ‘the man’. I assured her that even without coffee, one might already suspect I was a heavy cocaine user because ‘yo tengo mucho energia’ and I’d better just stay away from it… lest I implode with overexcitement…a heart attack…an overdose…or simply die of starvation in a Peruano Carcel for purchasing an illegal substance. (In Peru, the authorities do not feed you in prison, so I understand.)
No kidding. It happened just like that. Surreal.
Anyway, the booze works, I remain cocaine free …and order is restored in the universe.
And that’s exactly how it happened.
All day yesterday, we heard TNT being detonated in the valley. I don’t know why or what they’re doing, but 11:39pm…KABOOOMA BOOMA BOOOMA…12:20am…KABOOMA BOOMA BOOM! We live in a valley…stuff like that echoes. A lot. Don’t these people have families to go home to? Should we really be detonating things in the pitch black dark?
Whaddo I know.
Except I didn’t sleep last night.
And that’s exactly how it happened.
